Welcome to My First Post!- Social Media

Welcome to my very first blog! As I write this I must thank Candy-Ellie Nanna for showing me how to set this up.

Source of Inspiration- Social Media

This book needs you! I am looking to create an open forum where we can share, discuss and explore our experiences with men. The term “Mr Wrong” is  controversial topic in itself. Is there such a thing as Mr Wrong or is the term, “Mr Wrong-for-you-right-now” more applicable?. Is there such a thing as Mr Right or is he more of an ideal? What makes a Mr Wrong or Mr Right anyway? Mr Wrong came about partly due to my own past experiences and having listened to experiences that sound all too scarily similar. Its heartbreaking to see so many of my thirty-something pals who I consider to be strong, intelligent, beautiful, vivacious, witty and independent suffering at the hands of men who do not deserve them or men who do not treat them right. It seems to me that there are too many perfectly good women in there late twenties and thirties swimming solo in the lonely ocean where there simply are not plenty of fish but plenty of sharks lurking at the bottom ready to devour and spit us out with a virtual “poke” “block” or simple “deletion” from their lives via social media. What happened to chivalry, sticking power, respect and honesty?  What happened to looking , someone in the eyes and telling them what they really mean; really feel.

Whilst I embrace technology (boy did I struggle setting this blog!) I do feel that with the influx of dating sites obtaining a date/girlfriend/one nighter/”casual relationship/hookup” is becoming as simple as reciting the ABC. In some cases, even easier than buying a pair of shoes online! Now as a single lady I see nothing wrong with this as we are all busy people and why not shop for a man online? We shop online for clothes, books, DVDs, Home and Kitchen Ware. Why not shop for a man who has credentials for all to see; likes, wants, compatibility test, chemistry test you name it!? It’s easier than meeting a man in a bar, club (although feel too old for those now) or “on road.” At times, it gets to the point where you just wanna give the “potential” a questionnaire to fill in about himself before you even chat. It gets tiresome getting to know someone only to find out a few weeks or months later he is a raging homophobic, hates children and worse still doesn’t like Caribbean Cuisine.

Sadly, it feels we have lost the art of communication. It just seems to me that we are now living in a nation where we are too quick to put our profile online and too scared to put our hearts on the line. Breaking up via, text, BBM, FaceBook and other sources of social media is becoming the norm and good old honest face to face conversations are running out of trend. Why do we have to find out we’ve been dumped via a “Block” or a “Blog?”  At times sometimes via “air!” What does this say about the growth of human interaction? Real interaction. Real communication. ‘I love you’ now replaced with ‘I heart you’ or via a cyber rose or flying cupid heart. Words, emotions, hearts lost in translation. Hearts bruised via diminished responsibility. The heart of what I am saying here is that I believe we are becoming a nation full of quick fixes where responsibility for our decisions and actions can be obscured and replaced by a quick press of a keyboard or click of a button. More and more people, both men and women, are being dumped by text, mobile or some other source of social media taking away personal contact and empathy. As I say I embrace technology however on the flip side this reliance on technology stop us from facing up to things, leaving us devoid of emotion and compassion. What it comes down to is that technology cannot replace sincerity.

Now please blog, repost, retweet, leave a comment via SMS, twitter, FaceBook as I would love to hear your thoughts. 😉

Please find links to Mr Wrong Excerpts and Your Stories

Excerpts from Mr Wrong

Share Your Stories!

 

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21 thoughts on “Welcome to My First Post!- Social Media

  1. Hi Danni, I enjoyed your perspective on this, your first blog for your new site for your upcoming book. I think a blog like this is necessary, mostly for women but that guys will also find it refreshing, especially if since it’s not about male-bashing (lol). Because we men also have our perspective on the so-called Mr. Right/Mr. Wrong thing. So thanks for starting something that I predict will be entertaining, insightful and impactful. -Mike

  2. Thanks Michael for your support and positivity. Definitely not man bashing. Would love to hear more male perspectives especially from “Mr Wrongs-turned “Right.”
    Check out my “Calling All Men” section under “Share Your stories!” X

  3. Hello Daniella,

    I loved reading your blog and am happy to find another woman experiening the same frustrations that I am blogging about. If you want to hear my story, I just began my blog as well, but already have two nice posts up about relationships, feel free to follow me through my singledom.

    Christie

  4. Nice one Danni! One big difference I noticed here in New York compared to London is that more women present a questionnaire up front-first date, laying out finances, aspirations, life plans etc. I asked one chick doesnt this kill the vibe? She said ‘weed out the weeds and keep it moving!’ lol

  5. Haha. Yes I heard about the US style phenomenon. I like the idea of casually dating a few men at a time then deciding further on down the line who you think you’re best matched with. Et a questionnaire well boy it does seem a bit clinical and businesslike. In saying that I know where she’s coming from as a thirty something singletons kinda feel like shoving a questionnaire infront of them before we even bother to talk. Like I u Saud though nothing replaces the art of human interaction and communication. Although very funny. I may try this out and write a blog about the poor man’s reaction! Lol

  6. WOW. I think you really have a great blog here. I could share a personal story with you about a man who is combination of ALL of the personality types you describe here (why his wife puts up with it I’ll never know). What is really scary is that some of these people are really true socio paths. They can be seriously dangerous in extreme cases (Scott Peterson) or just plain old poisonous to your soul.

    Good work and excellent writing.

  7. Well here I am and there are many who would say that I am involved with Mr. “you can’t get any more wrong with this one” John. However, I beg to differ. John is a sexy, strong, caring, individual who is a wonderful provider and an incredible father. He is gentle and treats me like a princess for the most part. Our sex life is incredible and after 6 years, it is still fresh. By that description, you would think that I have found Mr. Right, right? W-R-O-N-G!!!!

    I don’t know I would classify John as Mr. Wrong because in a way we fit so well, except for the fact that My Mr. Right is a serial cheater and that is where my Mr. Right goes way wrong. But does that make him Mr. Wrong in general? I don’t think so. Every relationship has issues, this is our issue. He cheats, sex, no emotional attachment on his part, but if you read my blog, you would believe I was a fiction author. My life loving a cheater is crazy, and different then many other typical affairs married or involved people deal with.

    I love him, I love him, I love him and I have no plans to leave him, at least not yet! I have a different take on relationships then most people. The reason I started my blog? Google. If you searched “my boyfriend cheated on me what should I do or I cant get over it” or something similar, it was all “LEAVE, LEAVE, LEAVE!” “If he loved you, he would never cheat and blah blah blah”. . . John does love me. I may not be certain of a lot, but I have never been more sure of anything in my life.

    Which leads me to say is there such thing as a Mr. Wrong? Maybe, or should we classify it as Mr. Wrong For Me? Many women could not deal with what I go through. They call me weak, I laugh! Weak? A weak woman could never put up with what I put up with. I am strong by far, you have to be to deal with my Mr. “I can’t stop cheating” .

    Very interesting topic. I am looking foward to reading more. . .

    *sidebar* in my opinion, women did this to men. If more women chose to find a single man and refused to become involved with an involved man, there would be many less, Mr. Wrong’s. . .

    • Dear Ariella,

      Thank you very much for your candid comment. I am not here to judge in any way whatsoever. It seems after reading your comment and your blog that you are really happy in your relationship and feel like you are loved very much. It seems, correct me if I’m wrong that you have signed up to an ‘open-relationship’ and functions as one. It seems that whilst he has avstring,loving emotional attachment to you he seeks ‘physical relationships’ with other women too. Can I ask does this work both ways. Some open relationships still manage to function healthily but only as long as both parties agree to this arrangement and are happy.

      Whilst I am seeking a ‘conventional’ or should I say monogomiys relationship I understand this. Each to their own. Abuse and cheating are big no nos for,me though. No negotiatio. I guess it cones down to is your core values or expectations. For example I expect and need honesty. Once that has gone the trust and respect crumbles too. Once that’s hone for me, its all over. However it seems as though he is being honest about who he us and you’ve made a decision to stay so if it works for you then who is anyone to judge. I just hope the rules swing both ways.

      I don’t agree that there would be less Mr Wrongs if it wasn’t for the ‘Other Woman.’ I believe a man should take full responsibility for his thoughts and actions and whether or not a woman agrees to be his bit on the side or not he is still untrustworthy! Plus half the time these men are lying to these women too!

      Mr Wrong for Me makes sense. He’s right for you in so many ways and wrong for you in others. I hope he is nit bringing down your sense if self esteem or self worth because that would NOT be treating you like a Princess or Queen you deserve to be. I’m glad you are happy though. Take care and keep commenting and checking in. Your perspective is very interesting X

      • Hi! Well, I never said I was happy with his cheating. That I am not. And no, he is far from honest, he lies, lies, lies all the time! That is not good nor is it healthy, but I do love him and know that I am not going to leave him. Does it hurt? Of course, I hate it. I do not cheat and I do NOT consider that we are in an open relationship! I tolerate but do not accept. It hurts every time. Although, I could see why you said that.

        I am not saying there is no such thing as a Mr. Wrong, I’m just saying maybe its a Mr. Wrong for me/you. Some women would be happy and content to live the life I live.

        I want a man who doesn’t cheat on me! But I want him too. There is the catch 22. He swears every time he will change and although he does for the moment, it has never lasted.

        I am happy with my life, my kids and career and I am happy with John not as happy as I could be with him. I want a faithful man more then anything, so that’s why I wait. I hope that things will eventually get better and I will have my Mr. Right. . .
        Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

      • Oh sorry I must have misunderstood. I hadn’t realised he actually lies about it all. That I couldn’t cope with. I wouldn’t be able to deal with that level of betrayal and blatant disrespect. Has he spoken to you about why he does it? Perhaps he does it because he simply thinks/knows he can and will get away with it as you’ve made it clear you will stay put. Why would a man make an effort to change when he knows he can have his cake and eat it so to speak? It’s a perfect plan. Does he know how much this clearly hurts you? If so why do you think he continues to do it? Perhaps a way forward would be to tell him to seek help. Why should he be allowed to keep doing this to you and get away with it? You say you love him and I’m sure he loves you to but doesn’t that come with love, respect, compassion and honesty. Perhaps you should really tell him how you feel and that he is at risk of losing you if he continues or does not actively seek help. Why should your sense of security, self-esteem and self-respect suffer or be compromised to fulfill the needs of your partner who wants the best if both worlds. Why does he do it? Because he can. You may love him but you deserve better. If you choose to stay with him don’t sit around and wait for him to change. It ain’t NEVER gonna happen. However, do make clear to him how awful it makes you feel and if he can’t respect or understand that or make a commitment to changing his ways well…me personally, I’d put him on his bike. I have to love and respect me first before I can love and respect anyone else. I hope this helps especially as I can understand the situation better.

        I hope you guys manage to work things through. As I say if he really loves and respects you he will be devastated at the thought of losing you and make an effort to change. Btw didn’t think you were being sarcastic. I’m not quite sure what you meant. Wishing you love and happiness 🙂

  8. Pingback: Does Mr. Wright Exist. . . | Im In Love With A Serial Cheater

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