Love is…Like stepping off a cliff- reblogged from Diaryofacupcake

Read Diaryofacupcake Love is…. Like stepping off a cliff. Would love to hear your thoughts. Has anybody been here?

Diary of a Wonderful Geekette

You stand there, teetering on the edge wondering whether or not to take the leap.

You’re teetering because you are unsure, scared (after all what if you’ve read the signals wrongly), maybe you have some unfinished business before you can jump.

But what of the person standing next to you?

They may be just as scared and confused as you. Scared about jumping in case they get hurt again and confused because of the mixed signals they are getting from you and don’t know how to suppress their own growing feelings for you.

I’ve been listening to a song recently called ‘In Whatever Time we Have’ from Children of Eden. It’s got some very powerful lyrics and totally akin to standing on the edge of a cliff wondering whether to jump…

‘If at times we are afraid, with so little to believe in. It’s alright to feel afraid, I will…

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12 thoughts on “Love is…Like stepping off a cliff- reblogged from Diaryofacupcake

  1. Well I think anyone who says they havent been in this position is either A: a liar or B: never been anywhere near love! love is encompassing love is life changing love is alot of times painful who wouldnt be afraid of that! to truly love someone is the equivalent of walking down oxford st buttnaked! Because thats how open honest confident and brave you have to be because to truly know love your partner has to have seen you at your lowest ugliest most unattractive base self and still stuck around still tried to be there for you and still loved you thats the only way you can know its true but the sheer joy you feel when you do get to that stage makes it all worth it or atleast for as long as it lasts I like to think in relationships we start face to face checking each other out for positives negatives strengths and weaknesses this gives us the most limited view of life because our view is obstructed by each other thats why relationships are so volatile at that stage when we feel weve evaluated enough we decide we are comfortable and move to holding hands side by side now our view is less obstructed and instead of being focused on each other we become focused on the future where we want to go are we both looking in the same direction? are we trying to get to the same place? this gives us a 180 degree vision so as long as our hands are not broken by pulling in different directions then all is well however problems can still creep up from behind and mess things up and even if you do feel quite confident at this stage at the first sign of doubt you always have the option of a reassuring side-glance! if you do make it through this stage you get to the best part the fact you have complete trust in each other allows you to be back to back no longer worried about the others commitment so no need for even the slightest side glance (as in side by side) 360 degree vision on life and where yours as a individual AND as a couple is going because after all someone who truly loves you is never knowingly going to let you go wrong they will do all thats in their power to stop that happening of course this leaves you wide open to the proverbial and in most cases almost literal stab in the back but this is part of the beauty of love leaving yourself completely open and at the mercy of that 1 special person that 1 person who you know is there for you regardless thats why it hurts so much if and when we find out that person we thought was actually wasnt and ultimately its what we are all afraid of!!!

  2. What you say is so true.
    I wish I could say I’d made it to the holding hands side by side stage, but unfortunately, unlike everyone else’s relationships it seems that if I say one word out of place, or do something the other person doesn’t like I’m tossed aside like a bin bag, whereas it seems other women can get away with treating men like dirt and they are worshipped.
    I just don’t get it?
    Can I pop your comment on my original blog post please?

    • Have ypu read Steve Harvey’s Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man. A MUST read! Have also just bought Why Men Love Bitches. Best advice I can give you hun is stay true to you, what you believe in, what you will and won’t stand for, who you are. I’m a typical foot in mouth and at times, tactless in a clumsy candid way Sagittarian who is tough on the outside but soft and gooey on the inside. I can’t be a birch nor will I want a man who can love and accept me at my worst as well as at my best and as Marilyn Munroe said, “if you can’t handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best!”

      I look forward to hearing your stories and perhaps you can inspire others to raise their standards x

      • To true. Why try to be someone you’re not – the mask will slip eventually. I’m a typical Gemini, for my sins 😉 I’m not a bitch either, to trusting and kind for my own good.
        Love the Marilyn quote 😉
        The other good one is Rita Hayworth “Men go to bed with Gilda but wake up with me!”
        x

    • of course honey no probs, in terms of getting to side by side and further 1 of the most important factors in that sounds obvious but it has to be the right guy 1st and foremost and by that I dont just mean is he the “settling down type” i mean also is he right for YOU and vice versa also alot of men are literally afraid of commitment sometimes even with someone they already love its all “omg i will never have a different lady again” “does this mean my life as i know it is over” “what do i do the next time a woman gives me the eye at the bar” and literally fear of the unknown destroys any long term relationship there could have been so firstly choose your men carefully talk to them find out what makes tick (preferably before sex happens) also try and let him be the first to mention future plans progression in the relationship ie moving in together etc. let him feel that he is at the reins and not being led and finally remember this some men just are SCUMBAGS! nothing will change them nothing will improve them you will never be as important them as they are to themselves so just leave well alone! and keep the faith for the real men!

  3. Yeah I agree James Trust is very important. In a relationship I think it is important to allow both parties to still have their freedom and independance so that their life does not just become about “each other.” I think there’s so much more to offer a relationship this way together with respect and mutual trust. Support and loyalty are two other important factors. Real love like you say doesn’t have constraints or conditions, it is all encompassing side by side, back to back, face to face. It doesn’t shift. I actually have a poem about this-will post soon.

    Definitely a believer that love loves you at your worst and at your best. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly.

    I love what you say about the Non-Committment Playas “nothing will change them nothing will improve them you will never be as important them as they are to themselves so just leave well alone! and keep the faith for the real men!” So true and such a good way of looking at it!

    We will get there 🙂

      • I am married.. 9 years in the game. Making relationships work is give and take. You have to know when you are being selfish and when you are being beneficial to the relationship. Honestly we have never had one argument since we have been together because when either of us are wrong we can openly admit it. Our theory is simple explain how you feel and why you feel that way and lets work on it together. We never had any marriage counseling nor have we ever sought intervention. Quite simply frequent reminders of why you fell in love are good enough to keep the relationship going. Buy flowers for her for no reason. Take her dancing sometimes to show her a good time. Sit through a chick flick sometimes with her at the movies and then in the end ask her what she liked and didn’t like about it.. She should do the same for you as well. It’s give and take.. What you usually find out is that you like more of the same things than you think.
        Just a few thoughts.

      • This is great. Wish there were more men like you. You’re marriage sounds blissfully happy and as you say compromise and sharing is key. I’m amazed that you have never had an argument. I think that’s great. I don’t, on the other hand, think arguments are always a terrible thing sometimes they lead you to a greater understanding, bring a closer sense of empathy and compassion for your other half. It’s a journey to that discovery. I wish you all the best. Please ask your wife if she would like to write about you for one of my “Mr Right” success stories. You/She could hold the secret so other many women would like to possess as well inspire women who have had too many unfortunate encounters with Mr Wrong. I am inspired already. Please do ask. I’d love to hear how you met, how you proposed and what she thinks about you and what you both do to keep your marriage happy and fufilled from her perspective. That would really make the book as success stories are very very thin on the ground at the moment. Please let me know 🙂

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