Calling All Men!

Hello Boys! Are you “Mr Wrong” turned “Mr Right?” I want to hear from you. What changed you? What made you Mr Wrong or Mr Unavailable? Were you a casanova turned Mr one woman man? A game playa with the ladies whose only game now is chess? Have you swapped the clubs for a home of marital bliss, hung up your dapper pulling suit for a wedding suit? I want to hear from you.

Alternatively are you Mr Right and paying the price for Mr Wrong’s misdemeanours? Are you taking the flack and having to or had to jump through hoops to prove that you are not the low-life scum your beau believes you to be due to prior experiences?  Is Mr Wrong Messin’ It Up for Mr Right? Then I would love to hear from you here too.

 

18 Comments

18 thoughts on “Calling All Men!

  1. How do you feel when you are single?

    Great most of the time. I feel free as I can do whatever the hell I want, whenever I want however I want. It is great to flirt with girls and to be around them as I love female company (sometimes more so than male). I think the reason for this is that they are nice to look at and there is always a chance something may happen. Also, you can be more honest with girls about stuff and its great to be able to be in charge of the conversation. With men, they like to fight for control of the group.

    What are the signs you start craving a relationship?

    I usually start wanting a relationship when I meet a girl I like. I become my best self, which is little more than an act. I will try to be the most perfect person she wants me to be with the sole intention of getting her into bed. And, after the sex, my thought process goes along the lines of ‘that was enjoyable, I would like to get this sex on tap. I would like to show this girl a good time, whisk her off her feet and show her how much of a nice guy I am. Usually the girl genuine makes me feel like this but it is short lived and I have set way to high of a standard for myself that is impossible to live up to.

    e.g. I will buy flowers for her for no reason, I will say I love you way to early for the sole reason that it feels good when ladies say it back, I will cancel plans with my mates and say I prefer hanging out with her anyway, I will keep my house tidy or offer her a place to leave stuff, I will listen with interest about her problems and talk them over with her.

    All this will make her think I am great. Then, usually after about 6 months, I revert back to being my selfish self. I say revert, regress would probably be more apt.

    This would be fine, as I am usually a nice person, just not as nice as I am in those first stages, but because I set the bar so high early on – it looks like I am losing some of the love I had in the past. This will cause arguments ‘you don’t love me anymore’ ‘you used to do special things for me’ etc.

    Then I will want to do something and I wont be able to because I have to think about someone other than me and that will drive me crazy so we will break up.

    Is it seeing your mates shackled up/settling down, seeing cute couples or is it to do with time of year?

    Cute couples make me sick, the winter is a good time to have a relationship as my eyes don’t wonder off to girls wearing summer clothes and I can’t go to beer gardens all day with my mates like I can in the summer.

    How do you typically go about meeting girls/getting into relationship?
    As I already wrote – kill them with kindness and selfless acts. Set the bar far to high and then fail to live up to her now-high expectations.

    How does it feel when your in one?
    At the start, I like doing all the relationshippy things, then they become chores. Going to see parents is a nightmare – I know it is a cliché but inlaws are always a nightmare. People don’t think your parents are as great as you do.

    Day Trips – at first these are great as you get to know each other and all the stories we tell are new and interesting. We can have fun as we are showing off how fun and exciting we are and we can because we have the drug-like buzz of being in a new relationship. Over time though, we run out of interesting things to say at dinner, you have heard all of our jokes and the conversation becomes mundane and repetitive. ‘how was your day?’ “what do you want for dinner?’ ‘How is your mum?’ ‘we need to pay this bill’

    How long before itchy feet?
    When the talking goes, the sex is not far behind. Behind every attractive girl, there is a bloke bored of fucking her. Us men like variety, and to be fair, even bad sex is good sex. It is usually the woman who, before your very eyes, stops being a radiant sex godess and slowly becomes someone who nags you and stops you doing things, and who never initiates sex any more.

    And what are the get out clauses you use to escape?
    Becoming distant, going out more often, stop doing romantic gestures.

    I know this sounds arse-hole-ish but they really do become a chore. I yearn for my singledom back even if I am deeply in love. I want to go and sit in a pub all day – I want to watch an entire box set of 24, I want to play poker or football manager all night. I don’t want to do the dishes ‘right now’.

    I feel really bad when it finally ends because it is not the girl’s fault. It is me setting myself up to fail at the end.

    It really is hard to fathom that I will be in a long, commited relationship for long as this is a cycle I cannot seem to break.

    Other points that may be useful for your book (although im not sure – but you can have them anyway)

    – If I could take my own advice, I would try looking at an old partner with new eyes rather than getting a new partner. This will save lots of time and heartache. Looking at someone in a new way could bring back those feelings you have at the start of a relationship.

    – Whenever I am drunk, or stoned, I become very ‘rose-tinted’ and long for the girls back that I have lost.

    – I don’t want to settle for anything less than perfection, and I usually find it, but it quickly fades.

    – At my age you start contemplating a family, but I am not grown up enough for one yet and I am far too selfish. Although I think it is better to wait until I am ready rather than doing it because everyone else is and put a poor girl through hell just because I rushed into it.

    – Girls need to, I think, put a higher value on sincerity over romance. Would you rather have frequent romantic gestures from someone who may have cheated on you, or someone that is not romantic but is always honest and well behaved?

    – On the subject of romance, it devalues the more times you do it. On of my friends bought his girlfriend flowers every week. He used to get a lot of sex and praise for this, but because he has done it for so long, it is routine and she doesn’t even appreciate them anymore as she is used to them.

    – Men need space

    – More than space, men need to know that they are appreciated. Seriously, if we do something nice, even if it is expected of us, tell us we are doing a good job, praise our muscles or intellect or handiness and do it in front of people. You will be amazed at how far it goes.

  2. Thanks for your honesty and insight Adam. Seems like you have a slight case of Mr Dreamer. Sincerity surely goes a long way I think. The praising and space comment is a very valid one. Women love praise too! (and space at times) 🙂

  3. I think Adam have said it all,some times the way girls behave can change a man’s character over night.Some ladies find it difficult to compliment there man when he does something good.that’s very bad cos he is not going to have the zeal to do the good next time.i believe that even mr wrong can still change to be mr wright if the girl plays her role well.guyz need praise,it boast our ego.like here in africa where i come from,girls over here find it too difficult to say “thank you baby for the gift” you know why?they believe its your duty to buy gift for them which is totally wrong.so my point is here is that tho all men are not the same,but i believe that the character of 90% of men in a relationship depends on the character of there girlfriend towards them.Like Me,i once have a girl that i love so much,i was not perfect tho but i use to try as possible as i can to make her happy and comfortable but she never for one day acknowledge my effort.and that begins to change my attitude towards her,and from there things begin to fall apart between us because i changed from the mr caring guy she knows before to mr i don’t care.from there,you can guess the outcome.so my point here is this,men character depends on how you treat them.you can as well visit my blog and reed 8 REASONS WHY RELATIONSHIP FAILS. http://www.itsallabout loveandsex.wordress.com

  4. Hi Michael, thanks for your input. I totally get what you mean about it depending on how your partner reacts/treats you that determines how you react it even which way the relationship goes. Sorry you didn’t feel appreciated. Anyhow a guy bought me a gift or did lovely things for me I’d be mire than apprec

  5. Opp.. more than appreciative. It’s the little things that count that show you care. Trust me I get excited if a man just cooks me dinner. I can totally understand why you might change from Mr Caring to Mr I don’t give a damn. Mr Wrong can definitely be Mr Right. Perhaps Mr Wrong for me right now us better? Remember though guys we live, we nurture, we advise, we raise, we endure unbearable pain and hormonal changes every month, push out babies for you, (more pain!) we sacrifice, smile even though we feel like screaming and give even though we feel like saving. Don’t we deserve some appreciation too.? Doesn’t even need to be public. 😉

    Btw where are you from?

  6. Adam I thought your input was brutally honest and equally as fascinating as I think we are complete opposites! the heads and tails of a coin! you say when you start a relationship you set the bar unrealistically high and inevitably fail to live up to the precedent with me i find I almost try to be the most basic version of myself cold and unavailable as if thinking if she likes me in black and white wait till she sees me in glorious hd!! but as you pointed out the precedent has been set and any change leads to arguments because she starts to think why is he being so nice all of a sudden is he feeling guilty is he cheating etc also it gets harder to change because you get used to treating her like this and end up letting those caring instincts just well up inside and never get released. As to “itchy feet” I find it alien that you say even bad sex is good sex as i feel completely different for me after “bad sex” or sex with someone who Im not that attracted to I hate the awkward “weeeell what should we do now” moments that arrive the minute the physical act finishes in my mind cant help but think “wow didnt really enjoy that/is that what Ive lowered myself to” and feel it should have been someone more worthy sometimes even when really attracted to the person when the deed is done it can feel like a hollow victory as you go back to watching a movie or home as you know the attraction is just physical that for me is truly boring! I think most of us guys have been with a girl like that at some point (just seeing her makes you hot but as soon as she speaks you go cold) Where we are in complete sync is that men NEED space absolutely there has to always be some things that man does with “his boys” not just to avoid those feelings of entrapment but because “me-time” is important to BOTH people in the relatioship guess the trick to that is finding a lady whose “girl time” is just as important to her nobody wants someone who is just gonna follow them around like a bad smell! or feel that their relationship is the be all and end all of their life not least because that puts so much pressure on it

  7. I loved reading this. I hope more men come forward to share their thoughts. I admire their honesty and I hope that by writing here, they were able to delve deeper into why they are the way they are and perhaps find what they truly need and want in a partner.

  8. Hey I am a young man so experience with women I have no so many as I wish. Though I had a really long one which I learned a lot from.
    At the beginning was very smooth and cute like any other , after few months it’s when actually you start to get to know the person a lot better, when their real colors start to shine.
    I wont give too much detail, though I will say it was the most intense , passionate relationship I ever had, unfortunately I didn’t work out at the end.
    I must say that I took me two years to get over her and the fact that we were over.
    I was devastated, my confidence dropped on the floor and stepped on like a roach. To all men out there, women are just women, nothing more nothing less. They deserve all our love and respect, without we cant survive, not only for the fact that they’re important for our reproduction, but also because we need them to fill our lives.
    Yet everything has a limit, took me that rough experience to realize that to succeed with the opposite sex you first need to succeed with yourself, I mean to know your priorities, work as hard on yourself as you would with your job. create a balance with your own personal professional, familiar, social and love life. Study and learn something new every day, to most women an intelligent man will me more important than a good looking one, of course good looks are amazing but not as much as being interesting , elegant, fun to be with and amazing lover.
    To become Mr. Right for your lady, you first need to be Mr. Right for yourself, all it takes it getting to your own you, define where you’re going in life and where you want to go and switch the path.
    It is not as hard as it sounds but it takes work, energy and the courage to start at some point.

    • What a brilliant comment! Thank you so much for this. “It took me that rough experience to realize that to succeed with the opposite sex you first need to succeed with yourself.” Absolutely true.

      “To become Mr. Right for your lady, you first need to be Mr. Right for yourself.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. I think this goes for both men and women here. I hope you are happy now and are on the way to attracting all rthat is positive into your life. Take Care

      Daniella 🙂

  9. Hmmmm
    mr wrong….
    maybe mr wrong is truly a warrior king stillin subconscious flight ….. therefore mr wrong in ecology and survival might be mr right

    u ever stop to think why since time memorial
    men regardless of vulture or the farce of race consistently have proved they usually have two women …. or more…. however sheeped society cannot relate unless in a Muslim context or a soft movie context…
    so if it’s in a persons nature to be assertive then suddenly stop and conform to a way of being and a state of mind ….. regardless of what angel woman or man you are unless you are a religious subject and the restrictions of your thought world hold you back and control your natural instincts ur gonna have issues……
    let’s be real, men are conquerors it’s their nature….. there’s proof that 50% of marriges go sour or more ….. 50% of people in work force have had close encounters with a work mate or work play mate…humana are naturally attracted To humans And desire one another, right or wrong moral or imoral….
    the institution of marrige And relations merda a revisit….. Mr. wrong exist In your mind due To conditions ….. i cant see myself With same person for 40 years no matter how sweet that person might be, people geie And evolve…. why do só many old men like young goela And young goela Older men ?
    why do cougers prowl for younger men ….
    there Is An. attraction….
    enjoy life wisely, ….. what does GOD say…….
    He uaualyy says, men are naturally eram when it comes To women…..its normal for a Man To want more yuan one women , And With the openness of womens non verbal social dress code tells about the shameless carnal enviornment. …..a beautiful woman Is the one you choose To keep beautiful because you choose. most men want To be Mr. right but they too try … And try. then wander… then come back …. in love then out of love …. then in love …. love takes work…. mutual work ….. and then odds are …. so women must realize it’s a mans nature to look and seek …. and choice not to offer by engaging ….. not engaging is key, it shows inner resistance or fear of a tuff spouse…. with the shoe on the other foot, cougars,…. total mrs wrongs….. LMAO…
    but why judge….. the most important …. love n be loved , forgive, and forgive, and don’t forget …. I will never b perfect or mr right and I no longer want to be, but I’ll -////-/// you so good that you will want to turn a bad man good….. don’t u can’t , top men have lots of sex appeal …. it’s their nature ….
    they wanna love n fuck everything like muts….. from bill Clinton , to ParisHilton to magic Johnson …… imagine being with a hot chick who does her hair nails n toes every week or two….. eeww …. non stop un natural makeup n wasted time…. face it ur guy is with u not for who u r with make up , it actually makes u ugly to him but attractive to others…… real shit,, then women want to pretend to be beyonce or haile berry ….. sexy smooth ….eew to out there n open means if a guy can see your stuff, hips , waist, bust…. in nice shamles snug clothing …. we no longer need magazines …. it’s in the general public …. hot beautiful women everywhere Everywhere !!! in office , school, court ….. they look good and the scent…. alluring ……so it makes no sense to marry when everyone in the world gets to see your body but only not do one thing …. touch it
    it makes no sense to marry when 50% admit to cheating at some point…the only issue is how do we raise children and family in a liberated semi committed lifestyle
    simply people love and be loved, give respect and be clear about your position
    objective n goals …. marked and single women love fuck, but it’s when trucks deception and lies enter that give room for broken relations…. oh he hurt me ….. wtf r u talking about , look at your guy he’s so hot Marilyn Monroe or Whitney would come back from the dead (God forbid ), to take a ride, so what if he hammers 2 out of 200 women, at least he’s trying to b good in an impossible situation….
    mr right is the guy your calling mr wrong
    or you can stay rigid and prissy and get lucky or a pushover low tetestrone pretend good FB…. but then u will be like …. ah I don’t think this is working out …… or ahhh he’s sweet but …… it’s ur choice take a stud , big risk, take a wimp u can then cougar on da side….. complex no natural nature

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s